D2: The Home – Titus 2:3-5

D2: The Home – Titus 2:3-5

INTRODUCTION (Questions to clarify the context):

- How does the Word of God and the gospel shape the believing woman in her household. Do you k God’s plan through His Word for your wife, daughter, sister, mom?

- Why did Paul leave Titus in Crete, Titus 1:5-9? What remains is the need for quali ed elders to overs

fi ock. . .

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• Read 1:5-9 (emphasize “able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict”).

- Why do elders need to be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict, 1:10-16?

• Read 1:10-16. The elders will help “silence” them, 1:11. Titus must “reprove them,” 1:13.

- How should Titus be compared to the false teachers, Titus 2:1?

• They teach, 1:11; Titus must teach, 2:1. Bad, false teaching is countered by right teaching. . .

- What is Paul’s teaching strategy for Titus so he can address the damage caused by the false teache the household level, Titus 2:2-10?

• Read 2:2-10. Older men, older women, young women, young men, Titus himself (2:7), slaves.

- What is ultimately at stake in and outside the church through the behavior of older men and women younger women and men, Titus and slaves, Titus 2:1, 5, 8, 10?

• Ti 2:1, 5, 8, 10. 2:1 - “Sound doctrine” has fitting living to accompany it. 2:5 - the Word of God is dishonored by wrong liv have nothing bad to say about us. 2:10 - adorning the doctrine of our Savior in every respect.

- How is it possible for these believers to “adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect” th their behavior, Titus 2:11-14?

• 2:11-14. Grace of God = has brought a very full salvation - conversion through sanctification.

- Why is it important for men in the church to understand God’s gospel and its e ects on women (all!) in the church,

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2:3-5?

i. I must align my leadership with God’s Scriptural expectations for the women in my home. As heads of households (presently, future), your loving leadership must be aligned with God’s g expectations for your wife (whether young or older) and/or daughter(s).

ii. My leadership must help the woman/women in my home embrace God’s Scriptural implications for their living. As the loving leader of your wife (future), daughter (future), you must expose y wife’s or daughter’s heart to God’s design for them in the gospel so they might embrace Scriptural design for them by His grace (how my girls are repeatedly exposed to a worldly view women/men and their roles). How will they know the gospel and its implications if you don’ teach them? Don’t let them nd out apart from you, your leadership!

fi iii. My leadership of the women in my home must contribute to the adorning of God’s word and the silencing of critics. There is a direct link between these and your/my leadership. Your loving leadership must guide your wife into living that “adorns” the gospel in every respect, that h the word of God (2:5), that puts opponents to shame (2:8), leaving them with nothing bad to iv. My leadership of the women in my home can protect my household from being “upset” (Titus 1:11 by bad doctrine. As the loving leader of your home, you can spiritually protect the women in home from false doctrine through placing in plain sight the word of God and its implications f living. Remember 2 Tm 3:6-7.

Q: How aware have you been of what Titus 2:3-5 says and what it means for the women around you in the church (whether you are married or not)?

• If you don’t know it, it’s di cult to help them embrace what they need to know and to align their lives with it. . . Remembe ffi the word of God and silence the false teachers.

Q: If you are single but hope to be married someday, how aware have you been of Titus 2:3-5 as you pray consider marriage? Why is your current awareness been where it is? Is there anything to change? What w change practically look like?

Q: If you are married and/or have daughters: How aware do you think the women in your home are of w Titus 2:3-5 says and means for them? Why is their awareness where it is currently? What is your role in the current awareness of Titus 2:3-5?

• In other words, are they unaware of God’s gospel implications because you are unaware? What we need to find out is if unawareness is due to our own unawareness of God’s gospel implications and expectations for them.

TITUS 2:3-5: The gospel is honored through transformed older women training transformed younger women.

I. What older women transformed by the gospel must be, 2:3.

• II. What older women transformed by God’s word must train younger transformed women to b What happens when transformed are all they should be? “Older women” = the text doesn’t to us any speci c age range. Mac: Childbearing ends at about 40-45; correspondingly, child-rea fi ends at about 60-65; therefore it is reasonable to take “older women” as referring to women t least 60-65 years old. That’s just somewhat arbitrary. The point not to miss is: older women a spiritual resource in the church!! Women will come in 2 categories – the ones in the church that older should come alongside the younger. Just being older doesn’t mean that a woman is qua to do this. The older woman is to possess a certain gospel-created/transformed character to car this ministry to younger women.

1. Reverent in behavior.

• “Reverent” = (used only here in the NT) has its roots in the priesthood; a person set apart f priestly duties; that person is sacred or set apart. That is the idea that is to be carried over to older women here: she is to live a sacred life; a set-apart life. Even though she appears to be very common, older woman, she has the demeanor or behavior of one who has been set apa God for a sacred duty. What she is about in this ministry is sacred, 2:3 . Maybe it could be sa ff that she practices the presence of God in her daily living. She lives her life as if she is continua in the presence of God like a priest would.

• Most likely this is an over-arching quality for the older women – one that summarizes the who of what she is to be. The descriptions that follow help esh out what a “reverent in behavior fl woman looks like. This is much like “being above reproach” for elders of the church.
• This is what the power of God intends to produce in an older woman through God’s word. woman marked by an uncommon behavior; a set apart behavior.

Q: Do you long for your wife to be such a woman? Are you looking for a wife who is interested living a life that looks di erent than the way most women live?

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Q: Are you concerned to direct your wife in this direction? Ask your wife if she thinks you are concerned for her holiness of life. What kinds of things might you need to do to help your wife g more intentionally into an “older woman who is reverent in behavior?” If you have a daughter on the right trajectory concerning this character quality?

2. Not malicious gossips.

• Just one word in the Greek: “ Diabolous ” = (diabolical; Diablo) she must not engage in slander; olde women are not to repeat vicious gossip; they cannot become women who are back-biting or begin or advance scandalous charges against others. She is to be a woman who can control tongue from participating in that which pushes others down in the eyes of others.
• Because this quality is negated along with the next one, it is possible that Paul meant for #2 a #3 to go together.

3. Not enslaved to much wine.

• It is possible that in Crete the men and even the women were known for heavy drinking; in fac the problem appears to have been more acute among the women of Crete than in Ephesus. Timothy 3:8, 11 (“temperate”) has a milder expression than the way Paul words it here. The here is a slavery term; a term of bondage.
• Paul nowhere totally forbids wine. But Paul in multiple places strongly condemns drunkennes exhorts believers to not be enslaved by much wine. The point is self-control must remain inta completely especially when the believer drinks wine, beer, etc.

• The connection between “not malicious gossips” and “not enslaved to much wine” (#2 a above)? When self-control is compromised by too much wine, the tongue can all too easily participate in malicious gossip.

Q: Are you the kind of man that is concerned that slander or gossip not nd a lodging place in t fi woman you would date, or your wife? Do you long for your wife to be in control of her words? you know the e ects of her emails, facebook postings, phone calls on others? Are you looking fo ff woman who is far from the charge of being a malicious gossip?

Q: Are you concerned to direct your wife away from gossip? Are you concerned to protect her such sin? How so? Ask your wife if she thinks you are concerned about her tongue. What kind o things might you need to do to help your wife ee from malicious gossip?

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Q: Are you the kind of man that is passionate to not lose your own self-control in the use of alco Do you long for your wife to always have self-control, especially in her use of alcohol? As a singl man, is this the kind of woman that you nd attractive? Has your oversight of the use of alcohol fi your marriage, home, life been helpful for your wife so that she would have no trouble meeting t quali cation as she gets older in Christ?

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Q: Are you concerned to direct your wife away from the numbing e ect on self-control that too ff much alcohol can produce? Are you protecting your wife from such sin? How so? Ask your wife she thinks you are concerned about her use of alcohol. What kind of things might you need to d help your wife ee from the lack of self-control that too much wine produces?

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4. Teaching what is good.

• “Teaching what is good” is one word in the Greek = “good” or “bene cial” on the fron fi This doesn’t necessarily mean that older women are to be able to formally teach Bible studie lessons. It implies at a minimum the ability to informally teach by word and example the thing that would be bene cial to the younger women (which are spelled out in 2:4-5).

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Q: Are you the kind of man that wants to live a life that brings good or bene t to others? Do yo fi long for your wife to live the same kind of life so that as she grows older, younger women would her words of experience to be of bene t and good?

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Q: Are you concerned for your wife to be able to impart what is good to younger women? Has oversight of her life and ministry positioned her to be able to have an avenue of input into other women? (May our leadership over our wives and daughters not keep them from being able to te what is good to other women!) Ask your wife is she thinks you are concerned for her to have an avenue of input into the younger women.

• Summary: If the younger women of the church are going to be the kind of women God desires t to be in the gospel, then it requires the older women of the church to be of a certain character. you see how God has connected the lives of the women together in the church? Through the wo of God, God has created a dependency for the younger women on the older women. Can youn women be godly if the older women are not? Yes. But God has something much better than tha the church. We must be the kinds of heads of our households who make the home fertile soil fo women to grow into godliness as they get older. We’re responsible for that; we must set the to the soil condition for that. If your wife is a plant in the soil of your home and leadership, what ha grown into? What will she grow into?

• The primary point here is not to go to your wife and criticize her for not measuring up to these qualities. The primary point is to become a man who is not merely aware of what God wants you wife to be, but become a man who loves what God wants your wife to be so you can prepare the in your home for her to become that kind of woman.

II. What transformed, older women must train the transformed younger women to be, 2:4-5a.

• “So that they might encourage/train” = at one time it had the idea of bringing someone to the senses; probably more here to simply advise, urge; wise them up as to their character and responsibilities as wives.
• What is interesting is that Titus himself is directly to address all of the di erent groups except this ff
• the younger women. I don’t think we should try to make more of that than necessary. But w unique about this group in this list is that this group is dependent on one of the other groups encouraging or training it. The younger men are not even instructed here to be taught by the ol men. Should that be done in the church? Of course. But that is not the point here. But the poin emphasized here is that older women have a very direct training role with younger women that e goes beyond what Titus or elders might do. Can and should elders instruct young women to . . . 2:4-5? Of course. But what is God’s point here? That there is a unique relationship between th women and the younger women in the body of Christ and that there is to be an exhortation to o women to be what they must be in the gospel so that THEY become the trainers, more directly th anyone else, of the younger women. Titus and the elders are to rely on this ministry of older wom to the younger women.

• “Young” women = to be in the earlier stages of life; those who are new or fresh in marriage an parenting (love their husbands and children). Why we have WS and mentoring ministry. . .

1. Husband-lovers, 2:4.

• One word with “love” on the front and “man” on the back. Having more than emotiona for her husband; be self-giving to her husband. That is what love is – the giving of self for wh good and bene cial for another. The newly married or younger wife is not to play leapfrog o fi love for her husband.
• Just think of these words put together in the same sentence: “train (advise, urge) to love” = Aren’t we supposed to “fall in love?” Loving someone else is placed before us like somet uncontrollable that happens to us. But that is not at all what God expects and desires through word. Completely counter-intuitive to our cultural mindset. A young woman is to be trained/ advised to give of herself to her husband. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that she didn’ her husband before marriage, and now the older women are to train her to start loving her husband. . . But. . . what if it did? This exhortation would even work for an arranged marriage which wasn’t uncommon in Paul’s day. The idea here is clearly that love for her husband c grown, cultivated, brought under and into her will; advised.

• Love is to be rst and foremost in marriage in the young wife’s mind in the church. And tha fi is characterized by training or learning how to love more than as an uncontrollable a ection ff which just happened to the wife. God’s love that the gospel generates for a husband from a is one that can be trained. The world’s love “just happens” to women - a woman can “f love. But she can’t “fall” into God’s gospel love He wants her to have for her husband.

2. Children-lovers, 2:4.

• The same is true for her children. Again, one word with “love” on the front, but this time w “children” on the back. All that was said of her self-giving for her husband should be said h Again, she can be and must be “trained to love” her children, meaning that her love for he children can be grown, cultivated, brought under and into her will, trained, advised. Love is to rst and foremost in the young mom’s parenting in the church. She can’t play leapfrog ov fi children in the home.

Q: Has your wife heard you express gratefulness to God for her and her love? Have you identi e fi acts of love your wife demonstrates toward you? Does she know that you feel loved by her throu those acts of love? Ask your wife if she feels like you expect her acts of love or appreciate her ac love toward you.

• If she empties herself out repeatedly but does not hear gratefulness, appreciation from you, that would be discou

Q: Has your wife heard you express gratefulness to God for her love for your children? Have yo down with her to list for her the many ways you see her sacri ce in love for both you and the fi children? Does your wife need your encouragement to keep sacri cing in love for the children? fi your wife if she feels weary in her acts of love for the kids. What do you need to do?

3. Sensible, 2:5a.

• Being in control of oneself; being prudent and thoughtful. Young women need to be trained using good judgment. Where? In the use of her time; in how much time to be outside the ho in the use of money; TV and internet; social media; how much to have the kids involved in activities; etc.

Q: Are you looking for a wife who has good judgment in the di erent arenas of her life? Do you ff for your wife to be such a woman?

Q: In what ways have you seen your wife use good judgment in the home? Do you need to stud your wife in this area so that you can o er her encouragement or so you can better equip her? ff

4. Pure, 2:5a.

• Holy. A di erent word than “reverent.” You can see that women are never to NOT have th ff character quality, whether young or old (“reverent in behavior”).

Q: Are you looking for a wife who is pure in thought and deed? Do you long for your wife to be pure? Do you know what impurities tempt your wife? Do you know what avenues these impuriti come at your wife (internet, social media, TV, movies, etc.)? Have you thought whether or not yo leadership in your entertainment has been entertaining your wife with impurity?

Q: In what ways have you seen purity in your wife in the home? Do you need to study your wife this area so that you can o er her encouragement or so you can better protect her?

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5. Workers at home, 2:5a.

• One word in the Greek – “house” on the front and “work” on the back = the carrying ou household responsibilities; to be busy with the work that a household of people requires. The idea with this word is more of what the wife is to be than what she does (Having a list of spec household duties is not the focus, but the person who would desire to do them is.). She is to “home-worker.” Where is the center of gravity for her work? The home is the center of gr the woman in Christ. So the loving wife and mother nds herself absorbed in the countless fi responsibilities of the home. Why is she this way? The gospel shapes a woman to be such. J like the gospel generates a “sensible” characteristic, a “pure” characteristic, “kind,” and child lover,” so the gospel equally generates a “worker at home.”

• This is probably the characteristic that gets the most attention and has the most controversy surrounding it. It is easily negotiated away by couples. Let’s think about this a little bit. Loo the other characteristics in this list. Which ones do you feel comfortable negotiating away in a young woman’s life? Loving her husband or children? She can kind-of do this, ½ way?? W about being sensible or having good judgment? Can she negotiate that away? Can she be sensible most of the time but its ok to not be at other times? With purity?? Being kind?? Submissive to her own husband?? Why does the “worker at home” seem to be di erent in ff minds of many men and/or women? Because it isn’t any di erent in Scripture’s mind com ff to the other items in the list!

• Let me tackle it from another direction: If something was tugging your wife away from loving or your kids, being sensible, being pure, being kind, being subject to you, what would you do How would you act? If something is tugging your wife away from being a worker at home, w should you do? I think it is important for us to feel the arbitrariness of selecting this one characteristic and setting a di erent standard for it than the others. It shouldn’t have a di e ff ff standard.
• That being said, this characteristic does not necessarily mean that a wife and mother will neve involved in activities that occur outside the home. “What about the Proverbs 31 woman? Sh worked outside her home? She did. She had serious involvement outside her household. Bu look carefully at Proverbs 31. All of her e orts outside the home were for the purpose of ful l ff fi her household responsibilities well. Her children husband, ministry and their security were strengthened. Here household was not sacri ced, but enhanced.

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• What this characteristic says is that positively she will simply be a worker at home. And every woman is di erent. Some do not do well having very much if any work outside the home pul ff them away from the home. You need to know if that is your wife before you ask her to work outside the home. Other women seem to be di erent. Season of life and age of children (if a ff makes a huge di erence. The point is, whether your wife and mother of your kids works outs ff the home or not, this characteristic must still be her center of gravity.

• And this is where you must be very careful as her husband and head. If you are asking her to outside the home, recognize that you may be making it potentially more di cult for her to ha ffi home be the center of gravity for her work. Can she see the clear connection from her work outside to her responsibilities at home? Or do we just want more income? She still needs to her work at home done. So think through that decision very carefully. Sometimes, for a seaso under well thought out circumstances, a couple may nd it necessary for the family to have th fi wife working outside the home in a way that enhances the household, not sacri ces it. But th fi decision should only be made after carefully remembering that this characteristic is NOT negotiable, and that there is a clear way forward for the wife to be able to do both. Not every woman is built to be able to do that. Do you know your wife well enough to know if she can/ should? A “career woman” in the sense of the American way of life will have a di cult time ffi a worker at home. Not just work can distract a woman from this focus on the home. Too mu ministry outside the home can do the same.

• BTW – just because a wife is home all the time, doesn’t mean she’s a worker at home. Wiv be lazy, slothful, irresponsible, not good stewards of the family’s time, her own time, and res of the family. The point is to be a WORKER at home!

Q: Are you looking for a wife who is interested in centering her life on the work that her home w require when she is married and has kids? Do you long for your wife to be such a woman?

Q: Is it your concern to direct your wife to the work that the home requires of her? Do you know what work it is that she does or should do each day, week (“What DO you do all day?”)? Ask y about the work that she does each day and week so you understand what is required of her (especially do this before you ask her to step away from the home to work outside – that way you know what the cost will be for her).

Q: When was the last time you thanked your wife for the work she does in the home? Do you n to become more consistent in thanking her (and God most of all!) for all she does? What’s you to do that?

Q: Could your wife bene t from an older woman helping her think through the work that a fi household requires? Begin to pray about this.

6. Kind, 2:5a.

• Some think that Paul had “workers at home” and “kind” in mind simultaneously. The overwhelming work the home requires can tempt a woman to be overly task-oriented and mi the souls that are keeping her from her tasks, delaying her tasks, creating more tasks for her. takes a signi cant level of spiritual maturity to be a worker at home and to be kind to those in fi home who oftentimes create more work for her.

Q: Are you looking for a kind woman to be your wife and mother of your children? Do you long your wife to be a kind woman? Are you directing her toward kindness each day?

Q: Does your wife need your help because she’s feeling overwhelmed by the home and kindne becoming increasingly di cult to extend to others in the home? What do you need to be and d ffi your wife to protect her from that?

7. Subject to their own husbands, 2:5a.

• This is the same verb for “submit” in Ephesians 5. The idea built into this verb is that there someone in authority or leadership and another who is NOT in authority or leadership. That o a follower. That one is the one who lines his/her life up under the one with authority. In this c the wife is the one who is to line her life up under the authority and leadership of her husband has nothing to do with spiritual inferiority or superiority. Just like the gospel makes a woman kind, makes her pure, makes her sensible – so it makes her a worker at home and submissive her husband. That’s the work the word of God achieves in believing women in the church.

Q: Are you looking for a woman to be your wife who has embraced the submission God has for the gospel? Do you long for your wife to know and even enjoy her submission to you? Are you sacri cing yourself in love for her in such a way that endears her toward submission to you? Ask fi wife what she thinks you might be able to do to make her submission to you easier, more pleasa

III. What happens when transformed women are all they should be, 2:5b.

• “So that”. . . They help prevent the word of God from being dishonored. The word of God and crown jewel of it - the gospel - can’t be slandered, defamed, spoken irreverently about or spok disrespectfully about when older and younger women alike are transformed by the gospel in the ways.
• What Paul is saying here is that Christianity on the island of Crete will be judged particularly by th impact that the gospel has on the women. It is the older women’s job to be concerned about t own character so that they in turn can help train the younger women to be of a certain gospel-character. Then, the women are helping to protect God’s revelation in the gospel from being profaned by onlookers. Do you see how much depends on the women? The world around us to certain extent will judge our church and the gospel by the character that the gospel produces in women.

• Let’s put it another way: The outside world will judge the truth and the power of the gospel by way that women live in their homes and church.

“The world judges the gospel, which is the heart of the word of God, by the character of the people who believe and claim transformed by it.” MacArthur, 87

Q: Based on what you’ve seen of God’s design for your wife, what do you think about her being involve another woman in the church for the sake of accomplishing what Titus 2:3-5 says? What do you think is Go design for your wife right now – to come alongside a younger woman in the church or be “mentored” b older woman in the church? What would be a gracious, Christ-honoring way of approaching this subject w your wife?

The mentoring ministry within women’s ministry. . . .